Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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