ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
