I will die if light touches me.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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