just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
