the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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