If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
