you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
