There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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