She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
