what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
