if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
