No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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