it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
