I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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