i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The feeling are messing with the penis
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
