no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
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If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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