woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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