how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize