I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
