I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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