some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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