I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize