I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
