i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
