so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
