brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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