I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
