i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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