Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You left your phone here
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