Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
