Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
too bad you live with your parents still
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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