That's when you crack a 10am beer
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
