If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
