I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
