I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
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My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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