a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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