Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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