As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i've created a new STD.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
is it fun? or sober?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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