Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
