OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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