Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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