Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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