you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
