between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
