She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
