I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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