Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
