we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
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is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
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Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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