So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
