I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
