Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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