i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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