dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Can you bring me the toilet please
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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