I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
