C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
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Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
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When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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