hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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