i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
