it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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