Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
there is puke in my bra ... again
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
