Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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