I wish life had little blips of pornography
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
