glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
